ramblings on....

Thoughts on sitting here and watching the Minnesota Vikings play like nancy-boy girl scouts for the second time in three weeks.

Thought #1:

My team is no longer capable of winning a Super Bowl.  I am off the bandwagon.  They have sucked the fun out of this season.

Thought #2:

Just saw an ad for this years Super Bowl halftime entertainment, purportedly by the Who.  Um, first off, the Who died with Keith Moon in 1978.  Secondly, the Who died again with John Entwistle in 2002.  Will I someday hear this ad copy: "the National Football League presents halftime entertainment by the Who, featuring 4-6 guys who used to know the four guys in The Who."

Or: "presenting the Beatles, featuring Paul McCartney and three guys who remind him of his former mates."

Enough.  This years Super Bowl halftime entertainment will NOT be The Who.

Thought #3:

Dear automakers,

JHC on a popsicle stick!  We get it, you're selling a new car.  Imagine how profitable you guys might be if you didn't spend what has to be $100 million a year on television advertising.

OH, and shame on you.  Selling us crap that depreciates in value rapidly.  No other investment loses value at that pace.  As Luke Skywalker said the first time he saw the Millenium Falcon: "what a piece of junk!"


Oh, and um, Chevy, isn't it?  Howie Long is a nimrod.  Cease and desist.

And the pre-owned cars?  C'mon, dbag, its used.  If it looks and smells like a turd, it's a turd.  [Scoffing] Preowned.  Give me a break.


Thought #4:

I'd like to organize a boycott.  Please join with me and boycott any product that allows its ads to play on television at double the volume of the content surrounding it.  Seriously, knock that crap off.  I don't care if you're selling oxygen, I'm not buying it if you yell at me.

Usually what happens is I mute the volume in response to loud commercials.  Then I miss anywhere from a few seconds to five minutes when the programming I want to see and hear returns.

Thanks, anus.

Stand united...don't buy any product that has really, really loud commercials.  Or from Subway, but that's just because I'm sick of Jared's stupid ass.

Thought #5:

Commercial campaigns that have worn out their welcome and need to be retired:

Geico: the gecko must go.  Not funny, not amusing.

Geico [again!]: the cavemen should have evolved by now.  Can you believe that this moronic concept actually got greenlighted for a tv show?   Can you believe it lasted for six episodes before being pulled?  Can you believe I had a friend who liked it?

[sponsor unknown because I hate it so much I never see the logo placement or listen to it]: those wise-ass babies that dally in stocks.  Makes me understand what causes bad parents to shake babies [too dark?].

Thought #6:

Man am I looking forward to watching "Something Something Something Dark Side," the Family Guy's "The Empire Strikes Back" parody.

Well, gotta run.  S. is gettin' into bed.  I'm gonna go chill with him.

Peace,

Reggie

P.S.  the "Snuggie?"  Um, the verdict here is that it makes you look like a friggin' nimrod in a cult.