Fair-weather friend: naming names #1

A fun little exercise where I'm going to rip the ass of someone who wronged me within the structure of a literary format of my own design and creation.  Seriously, this is mostly a writing exercise, as I'm trying to sharpen my chops back to their pre-my-life-sucks state.  Think of this as poetry with an axe to grind.

Why, you ask?  Why dredge up the past, why not move on?  Because I can, and I can't.  Who knows, if this feels cathartic enough I might rip an ass on a weekly basis.  I can think of no fewer than a dozen dinks I'd love to disparage.

Ok, here goes.  This is a tale from over a year ago.  With any luck, the dink sees this.

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So one time, during an awful, unemployed period, I
Had a friend invite me to crash and recover at his place for
A while.  No strings, no bills, just supply my own food and it's cool.
Wow, that seemed like a good offer.
Naturally, it didn't take long before his altruism fled the equation.

Given his plan was to discontinue mortgage payments and lett the bank
Usurp his home, it was strange to me that he now wanted money.
Considering his request, I began to examine its merits.
Knowing human nature, I quickly decided that this was trouble.
Everyone generally agrees that paying money gets you some rights,
Even though you accede to being the Beta dog in the pack.
Now, I'm surprised I didn't burn the house down while he slept.

Sorta dramatic, I admit, but there's no code against a fantasy.
Under normal circumstances, I'd never harbor such horrific thoughts.
Clearly though, when someone intentionally tries to dehumanize you,
Karma be damned, I want them to suffer.
Shallow?  Probably.  Do I care?  Nope.  [Sound of match striking]


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Serious advice: I hear you're moving to Ohio.  Sweet Jesus, when you relocate there, away from all the people you know, just come out of the closet already.  It's 2011, nobody gives a crap if you're gay, but keeping all that pent up inside clearly makes you a miserable bastard.

Wow that felt good.  I've got a former woman boss with an ass so big you can see it from orbit that's gonna get it next!  I'm lookin' at you SP.

So come back next week to see me out another asshole.

PS. If you weren't a horrible person, I wouldn't be doing this.